im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
