he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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