I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i dont even know how to be here
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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