I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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