Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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