So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize