Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
