Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
