it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
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