it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize