I want to have your abortion
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
