dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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