At least make sure they are 18
Why
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
