why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
