maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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