and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
she peed on how many people?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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