Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
