Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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