I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
