So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Everclear isn't food dammit
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
