last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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