I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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