Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
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doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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