I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
