Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize