More tranny stories later!
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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