she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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