I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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