So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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