I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
