No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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