This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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