I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
