i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
