if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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