id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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