nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
