The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
