I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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