youre lurking in front of me
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
