we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
