We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
