Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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