I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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