I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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