is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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