i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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