Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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