Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
