I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm sobbing to NWA
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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