I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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