So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
