Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk