So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.