wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?