we have officially lost it.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
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She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
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I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.