new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.