He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
