just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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