Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
