I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
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I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
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You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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