Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
