how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
