I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
handjob tips. give me some.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
