So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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